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THE PLAYBOOK: The Damsel in Distress

· The Playbook

"The Pirate's Playbook" is a series of articles in which I detail every scam, con, hustle, hoodwink, gambit, flimflam, strategem and bamboozle that you can use to separate your prey from their loot.

Please note: the author of the Pirate's Guide to the Galaxy does not guarantee the success rate or even the sanity of any of the schemes described below. Use at your own risk. For best results, read in your best Neil Patrick Harris impression.


To perform the "Damsel in Distress", here's what you'll need:

  • A PvE story mission (recommended but optional, see below)
  • A ratting ship that is fitted for PvP (a T5-6 cruiser works great)
  • An attractive, female avatar.  Bonus points if she looks helpless and blonde.


  1. Go to the system where the story mission takes place
  2. Enter the mission.  Destroy the first (small) wave.
  3. Leave the mission and go to a gate or station.  
  4. Announce in local that you are new to the game and need help completing the mission.  Offer to let anyone who helps you loot the mission in exchange for their help.
  5. Invite the potential helper to your fleet.  Meet them at a station or gate.
  6. This is your chance to size them up.  Do they seem like a PvE pilot genuinely helping, or a PvP pilot hoping to gank you?  Is their ship something you could destroy?
  7. If you've decided that they are a worthy target, warp fleet to the mission location.
  8. Tackle and destroy the target, assisted by the rats in the encounter.
  9. Quickly loot the pilot and escape.  

Additional Tips

  • Your ship is the key element of this.  You need a ship that LOOKS like a ratting ship so as not to create suspicion.  You also need to fly something that can break the tank on a real ratting ship.
  • Use the rats to your advantage!  If you fly well, you can cause the entire mission to attack your prey instead of you.  That will make your job a LOT easier!
  • While you don't necessarily NEED to have a story mission, it certainly helps! If you want to attempt this play without one, make sure to go to a system where such missions spawn.  Generally there are a dozen or more PvE pilots in appropriate ships that will be suitable targets.  Pure them to a planet instead.
  • Make sure YOU are the one that forms the fleet.  If your target does so instead, they might invite others who will gang up on you.
  • Once you hit a particular system, move on before you try again.  Nothing ruins a good con faster than the presence of previous victims.

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